


where we belong

by tattooedsiren



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-18
Updated: 2014-04-18
Packaged: 2018-01-19 20:19:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1482619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tattooedsiren/pseuds/tattooedsiren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike has always had a feeling that Louis would be their undoing.<br/>From day one, from the moment he gave Mike that speech and 'fired' someone from the mailroom in front of him, he knew that Louis would be the biggest threat to that oh so important secret that he and Harvey had. Even as the years passed, as Jessica and then Rachel were let in on their secret, that never changed. It was always going to be Louis that would unravel everything he and Harvey had spent years building.<br/>And it was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	where we belong

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by the events of 3x12 - but it doesn't follow that ep and you don't need to have seen it to read this fic. Basically I just took the 'Louis on the trail of Mike's secret' thing and ran with it.
> 
> Eternal love to smartalli - my best friend, muse, and beta. Thanks for everything bb.

Mike has always had a feeling that Louis would be their undoing.

From day one, from the moment he gave Mike that speech and 'fired' someone from the mailroom in front of him, he knew that Louis would be the biggest threat to that oh so important secret that he and Harvey had. Even as the years passed, as Jessica and then Rachel were let in on their secret, that never changed. It was always going to be Louis that would unravel everything he and Harvey had spent years building.

And it was. 

There's a certain inevitability to it all, the way Louis has been slowly edging closer to the truth over the years. They staved him off at each turn, told him more lies to hide the bigger truth. And it worked, until it didn’t.

Mike can't help but wonder. If they had told him the truth from the outset, would this still be the final outcome? Because Mike can't help but think that it's Louis' wounded pride, it’s that he’d been so maliciously lied to over all these years - not just in general, but in a very specific way, with lies told explicitly to him - that has forced this outcome. Maybe if he’d found out sooner, if there had been less lies, he wouldn't be so offended. Maybe if they’d actually told him of their own volition, he would’ve understood.

But they didn't, and he didn't, and they had to come up with a plan to placate Louis so he wouldn't tell everyone and throw the entire firm into jeopardy. Because Louis is so mad and he wants to turn them in and he can't see the consequences of such an action, too clouded by anger and betrayal. So they make a deal, and when Mike says they make a deal, obviously what he really means is Harvey makes a deal and Mike is still too in shock to do anything other than agree.

In exchange for Louis' silence, it's agreed that he will be given a significant raise, and that Harvey and Mike will both be out. Harvey's name will stay on the door, because they've had too many changes the last few years, and what the company needs now, more than ever, is stability. Harvey will still receive a portion of the company's profits, because he bought in, but Louis demanded his pound of flesh, and that means Harvey will never practice law again. He’d lost that privilege, Louis had said, seething with rage, and he shouldn't be allowed to practice when he clearly had no respect for it. Given that he was this close to going to the Bar Association and ruining their entire lives, Harvey had agreed, and somehow Mike still couldn't believe that he had.

Mike feels sick. He had known, from day one, that this was never going to last. Of course it wasn't. And he knew that when this day came it was going to suck. But _this_ , this feeling of devastation and regret that wretches at his insides, the remorse he feels for destroying Harvey's life, the pain he feels knowing that everything - Harvey losing his career and ability to practice, being the cause of the utter ruination of all the different relationships between Harvey, Jessica and Louis – is his fault, this he wasn't prepared for. It's never ending, and he can't ever imagine feeling okay again.

He goes through the motions. He and Harvey have a fortnight to get everything finalized. The plan is for them to make a quiet exit, and once they are gone, Jessica will announce the restructuring, that Harvey is partner in name only, that Louis is her new second. It feels like they're so focused on the task that they don't even really have time to talk about what is actually happening. Mike tries once, that first day, the day everything falls apart. He tries to tell Harvey how sorry he is, how he wants to keep fighting to save Harvey, how this isn't how he wanted things to end. Harvey doesn't even let him finish, just smiles sadly and says that this is what needs to be done. That's it, end of conversation. 

It doesn't feel like enough. This is too big to get by on so little words. But Harvey doesn't seem like he wants to talk about it, and every time Mike tries to bring it up Harvey quickly but gently shuts him down. So Mike stops trying.

The guilt is the worst. It's a constant presence, humming through his veins every waking moment of the day (and, if how restless his sleep has become is any indication, it haunts him during his sleeping hours too). He did this. He ruined everything. If he hadn't come crashing into Harvey's hotel room that day, then Harvey would be fine.

It's painful, being by Harvey's side day in and day out. He's never once felt like this around Harvey. Even in their lowest point, when Harvey thought Mike betrayed him to Jessica, it was never like this. Harvey is _right there_ but he's miles away. And it's not even coming from Harvey. Harvey hasn't distanced himself from Mike, he hasn't blamed him. But Mike still feels a distance between them. It's just so quiet. It feels like a ticking time bomb, that Harvey isn't saying anything now. But one day, probably soon, he's going to explode and tell Mike that he hates him for destroying his life. And when that moment comes, even though it will break Mike's heart, he will understand.

He deserves to be hated. And knowing that sooner or later Harvey is going to hate him is the worst part of this entire situation.  
The realization, when it comes, is like finally able to take a breath after drowning in ten feet of water. Everything is clear. His head spins and his chest hurts but it's in a good way. Finally, he has an idea of what he can do. He's been little more than a zombie this whole week, just following orders, too numb and shocked to fight back in any way.

It's so simple. Just a few words and he can save Harvey. He doesn't care what happens to him, not really, as long as Harvey is okay.

For the first time all week, Mike smiles.

Harvey is the most important person in his life, and Mike can finally save him.

 

 

 

 

 

Donna rushes into his office but comes to a dead stop in the middle of the room, and the motion makes Harvey look up from his desk. One look at her face and he knows something's wrong. And really, for her to look like that after everything that's happened this week, something must be _really_ wrong.

"What is it?" he demands, standing from his desk.

"It's Mike," Donna replies.

Nerves flood through his body. "What?" He comes out from behind his desk. "What's happened?"

"I don't know how it got out, but everyone knows."

A sinking feeling comes over him. "That we're leaving?"

Donna shakes her head. She's looking nervous, and it does little to calm Harvey's already frayed nerves. "That Mike doesn't have a law degree."

It takes a moment for the statement to sink in. They've been so careful. Their deal was made in shadowy meetings, off the record, late at night with no one around. No one was supposed to know. His mind immediately jumps to Louis, desperate to lay blame at someone's feet, but if he did this then to what end? 

"Harvey," Donna says gently, taking a small step forward. "Everyone knows that Mike doesn't have a law degree, but they all think that you didn't know. That _no one_ knew. That he's been lying to everyone since he started here."

"How…" Harvey can't even finish the question. His mind already knows the answer, even if he doesn't want to believe it. " _Mike_ ," he breathes, confused and angry and maybe slightly resigned.

Donna shrugs, like she isn't certain but she thinks it's the likely answer. Harvey immediately moves out of the office and heads downstairs to Mike's desk. It's empty, and he grabs a random associate and asks where Mike is. The man grins with unabashed mirth when he says Mike took off, and it's then that Harvey recognizes him as the one Mike went up against in his first mock trial. 

"How did you hear?" Harvey demands.

Kyle grins. "Gregory told me. Everyone knows. If you're looking for a new associate I'd be happy to-"

Harvey turns and walks away before he can get the entire sentence out. He doesn't want to hear this asshole jockeying for Mike's job. He just needs to find Mike.

As he heads back to his office he calls Mike. No answer. He swears under his breath, and when he makes it back to his office Jessica is standing there, waiting for him.

"You heard," he says, not a question.

Jessica nods. "How did this happen?"

"I don't know," Harvey says, because he might have his suspicions but he doesn’t know for certain and he sure as hell isn't hanging Mike out to dry with no proof. "But I'm working on it."

"You do that. Louis and I will work on containing this. It's just a rumor for now, so hopefully we can stop it before it gets too far."

Harvey nods absently.

"And Harvey," Jessica adds, voice hardening, "if I find out that Mike had anything to do with this, I'll-"

"You'll what? Fire him? Sue him? Jessica, there is nothing you can do to him that you either haven't already done or that wouldn't expose you even further."

Jessica directs a level ten glare in his direction and says, "Just go and deal with Mike."

She storms out of the office. Donna hovers on the other side of the doorway and silently slides into the office after Jessica leaves. "What can I do?"

"I don't know," Harvey admits. "Just see if you can mitigate the damage."

"On it."

"I'm going to go find Mike. Keep finalizing everything here if you can, but just focus more on damage control."

"Will do. Good luck."

Harvey heads out, but his first stop is to an office a few floors down. Rachel looks up from her work when Harvey walks into her office without knocking, and the worry on her face tells him that she's already heard. She's alone, which wasn't entirely surprising, even though part of him had been hoping he'd find Mike hiding here like he had so many times before.

"Where is he?" Harvey asks.

"I haven't seen him all day," Rachel tells him.

Mike and Rachel have been broken up for over six months now, and Harvey still remembers the nerves that skittered through his veins the few weeks that followed, wondering if Rachel was going to tell someone out of hurt or revenge. But she was stronger than he ever gave her credit for, and because she realized that she was complicit she kept quiet. It was a secret that tied the four of them - Mike, Jessica, Rachel and Harvey - and they couldn't let the personal get in the way. Harvey is surprised, even to this day, how well Mike and Rachel have navigated their post break up relationship. Though their relationship isn't as strong as before they got together, there is a tentative friendship there. It's like they knew that this secret was something that was going to bind them forever, for better or worse, so they made their best efforts to get along. Harvey has to applaud them both for that. Given how juvenile their crushes had been when they first met, he's pretty impressed they're being so grown up about the whole thing.

"If you see him, call me."

Rachel nods, and Harvey starts to head out again. But he only gets a few steps when Rachel calls his name. When he looks back to her she asks, voice trembling, "This is bad, isn't it?"

Harvey doesn't really have an answer, so he doesn't give one, walking away without a word.

He leaves the building, hailing a cab and giving the driver Mike's address. He calls Mike twice on the drive over, but there's no answer. 

It's familiar, walking into Mike's building. He's lost count of how many times he's walked up these stairs over the last few years. He'd needled Mike many times about moving somewhere nicer, but apart from the time he and Rachel considered moving in together before that plan was interrupted by them breaking up, Mike's never really considered it. Harvey still thinks he deserves somewhere nicer, but there are good memories here, for him too - turning up unannounced on his doorstep to drag him to another city for work, long nights of paperwork spread over Mike's couch and coffee table as they worked on their case, evenings of beer on the couch, yelling at the screen as their respective baseball teams battled it out, nights of eating take out at Mike's tiny dining table…

Harvey knocks on the door, open palm pounding on the wood. Mike told him once he always knew whenever it was Harvey on the other side of the door because he had a very distinctive knock. He probably should've knocked with his knuckles so Mike didn't know it was him, in case he's avoiding Harvey, which Harvey is now beginning to suspect is true, judging by the multiple unanswered phone calls.

When there's no answer he knocks again, and after a few moments he pulls out his cell and calls Mike. There's no answering ring from inside the apartment, so either Mike isn't there, or he is, but he's turned off his phone.

"Mike, it's me," he says, one last ditch effort. "Let me in."

Silence is his only reply, and because he doesn't even want to consider the possibility of Mike being home but purposefully ignoring him, he concludes Mike isn't there, and heads out of the building to continue his search.

 

 

 

 

 

It's never quiet in New York, not really, but this place has a calming effect on Mike. He can hear the murmur from a television inside the building whose steps he sits on, he can hear faint music coming from the building across the street. There isn't too much movement out here, just the occasional car and the even more occasional pedestrian. It reminds him of when he was a kid, that sense that things might be quiet but at any tick of the clock the city could explode with noise and movement.

He sits there for hours, on the concrete steps of the brownstone, letting the city pass him by.

It was the right decision. Of that he's sure. Though he can't help but wonder what kind of tailspin he's sent Pearson Specter into. If by now every person there has heard, what they are saying about him…

"Here you are," a familiar voice says, and Mike looks up, incredulous, and sees Harvey standing there.

Mike laughs, the sound hollow with resigned defeat. "How did you find me?" Mike asks. He didn't think Harvey even knew about this place.

"It wasn't easy," Harvey says, sitting down beside him on the dirty concrete like he isn't wearing a ten thousand dollar suit. "This was the … seventh place I looked for you."

"Bullshit," Mike says, part disbelief and part challenge.

"Okay, let's see. First there was your apartment. Second was the bar on the corner of your block which you try and drag me to almost every time I come within a mile of your place. Next was the apartment you bought for Grammy. Then there was the park you and Trevor used to go and smoke up in when you were kids, that diner in Park Slope where we went to drown your sorrows in Disco Fries after you and Rachel broke up, the used bookshop on Vanderbilt Ave you spend way too much of your paycheck in, and now finally here."

"You didn't really go to all those places," Mike says, wondrous, because he just can't quite believe it. Harvey had said it so easily, like it's of little consequence that he knows Mike so well that he knew all the places to look (because even though Mike ended up here he could've just as easily have ended up at any one of those places Harvey searched instead).

"I did. Of course, if you'd just answered your phone, it would've saved me from running around the city for the better part of the afternoon…"

"I turned it off," Mike admits, quiet. He turns his gaze from Harvey, feeling guilty for sending him on a wild goose chase.

Harvey shrugs. "I figured as much after the tenth unanswered phone call."

It's silent then, as they just sit there beside each other on the steps of the building Mike lived in with his parents. He waits for Harvey to start talking, well, start yelling really, but he doesn't. The silence is almost worse.

"Are you mad at me?" he eventually asks, tentative, because he actually doesn't want to know the answer. And really, there's no point prefacing the conversation by asking why Harvey went to all those places looking for him, or pretending that they both don't know that Mike was the source of the rumor. Mike did this, and they both know it. But he couldn't stand the silence any longer, he just had to know.

It's only one word, but when Harvey eventually responds with a deliberately measured, "Yes," Mike feels as deflated as he usually feels after a five minute berating.

Mike hates disappointing Harvey, never wants Harvey to be mad at him. But he did what he did for a reason, one he will stand by, no matter what happens next.

Mike turns to look at him then, waits until Harvey can feel his gaze, heavy enough to make Harvey turn and meet it. "You know why I did it though, right?"

Because Harvey has to know. He has to have figured it out. He's the smartest, most brilliant person Mike has ever met. He has to get it.

Harvey's cell rings, loud and high pitched and completely breaking the moment. He pulls the phone out, greets Jessica when he answers, and Mike runs a hand through his hair, nervous. He can only hear Harvey's side of the conversation, but it's obvious they're talking about him, about what to do. The call only lasts a couple of minutes, but it feels like years.

"So, we should probably talk," is what Harvey says when he hangs up, and Mike nods in agreement. Because yeah, they probably should.

"My place is closest," he offers.

Harvey nods before standing. He takes a good look at the building and says, "So this is where you grew up, huh?"

"Yeah," Mike says, standing, brushing down his suit. He looks up at the building too, flooded with memories.

"It's nice."

Mike smiles sadly at him before he turns and walks down the footpath. Harvey follows, and they walk to a main road to hail a cab back to Mike's apartment.

The car ride is silent, slightly tense. It's been hours now, hours since he walked out of Pearson Specter, hours since Harvey realized what Mike did and came looking for him. There's a lot to talk about, Mike knows there is, but part of him just wants this car ride to last forever. Because he can just see it now: the admonishments delivered in a raised voice, the slump of Harvey's shoulders because the disappointment was so extreme it manifested physically, that moment of silence after Harvey exhausts himself and they just stare at each other, Harvey with weariness and Mike with remorse.

He's not looking forward to it.

When they make it into his apartment, Mike heads to his bedroom to strip off his suit jacket, tie and shirt, leaving him in his suit pants and undershirt, while Harvey leaves his jacket on the nook by the front door before he goes to the fridge and pulls out a couple of beers for them. When Mike collapses onto the couch beside Harvey, the older man wordlessly hands him a beer. He takes a swig, the movement controlled, before placing the drink onto the coffee table.

They sit there together, side by side on Mike's threadbare couch, silent, like neither of them knows how to start. Or maybe they just don't know what to say. What can they possibly say to each other at this point?

"You're an idiot," is how Harvey chooses to break the silence. So yeah, maybe Harvey does know what to say.

Mike chuckles, the sound raw and hollow. "It's been said," he easily agrees.

"How did you do it?" Harvey asks. He sounds idly curious, like it's easier to focus on the how of it all than the why.

Mike shrugs. "I pretended I was having a phone call with someone, talking about how it was all a lie, bragging about how I'd fooled everyone, even you. I let Gregory 'overhear' me. Didn't take much from there."

Harvey nods absently. He doesn't say anything, and Mike doesn't know what to do with the silence. He picks up his beer, even though he doesn't drink it. He messes with the label instead, slowly scratching at it until it starts to peel. He's bracing himself, still, for the anger, for the yelling. He knows it's inevitable, and the delay is just making it worse. But he doesn't want to encourage it either.

"So, what's the plan then?" he asks.

"Jessica has been countering the rumor by saying it was spread by someone jealous over your new position at Elario Drummond & Rogrigues."

"But I don't have a new position at Elario, Drummond & Rogrigues."

"I'm aware," Harvey says dryly. "She's called in a favor from Jerisa Elario, who is an old friend, and mocked up a letter of offer you can show to anyone who doesn't believe you. The plan is for you to not disappear and make people wonder if it was all true. You'll come back into work and finish out the week, like you have nothing to hide."

"Okay," Mike says, because really, it's the least he could do.

The silence returns. Mike hates it, hates the tension and unease he can feel radiating between them. Since the day they met there's been a kind of kindred ease between them. It sounds simplistic, but they just _got_ each other. They _knew_ each other, even when they were strangers. 

"You know why I did it, don't you?" Mike asks, somewhat rhetorically. Because Harvey has to know. He knows Mike better than anyone. There's no way he can't know why Mike did what he did.

"I do," Harvey says, turning to face him briefly before looking away again. "You did it to protect me."

He sounds disappointed, maybe even borderline appalled. And Mike gets it. Kinda. He knows that Harvey doesn't think he needs anyone to help him, and he's probably annoyed at Mike for doing it without talking to him first. But he's clearly underestimated Mike's inability to sacrifice those he loved. There was no way he was letting Harvey do this, not if he could do something to stop it.

"And yet you're still mad," Mike states.

"Of course I am," Harvey says, and it's the first time Mike's heard him be anything other than even and calculated. He looks to Mike then, and Mike can't take how exposed Harvey looks. There are but a handful of people in the entire world that Harvey would allow himself to be this open with, and Mike is one of them. It's a privilege, Mike always remembers that it is, but it's in moments like this when Mike truly comprehends just how significant he is to Harvey. "What were you thinking?"

"I couldn't let you lose everything for me, Harvey. I just couldn't."

"Mike, we talked about this, we agreed-"

"No, we didn't," Mike interrupts, and the fact that he does is significant in and of itself, because Mike never interrupts Harvey anymore. "We didn't talk about this. Louis found out, you and Jessica pow-wowed, the three of you agreed on this deal and we started packing up. We never talked about this beyond you telling me that this was what was going to happen."

"Because there was no other option," Harvey insists.

Mike laughs, incredulous. "Have you forgotten every lesson you ever taught me? There is _always_ another option, Harvey. And this is the best one I could think of."

"You had no right," Harvey says, voice hard, and he gets up off the couch and walks over to the window. 

It throws Mike, this reaction. Harvey has said he's mad at Mike, repeatedly, yet he hasn't done any actual yelling. He's eerily calm. Controlled. Mike can't help but be frustrated by it. How is he so calm? 

And for all that Mike has been expecting Harvey to be the angry one he finds that it's _him_ that's becoming livid. He gets up so he can face Harvey (okay, Harvey's back) when he says, "What, so you get to be the only one who makes decisions that affect _our_ lives, is that it?"

Harvey turns, face hard, and just repeats, "You had no right."

"Fuck you, Harvey," he grits out, taking a few steps away. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm his pounding heart. He can feel Harvey's gaze on the back of his neck, and after a few moments he turns to Harvey. He feels the anger melting away almost as quickly as it came. He doesn't _want_ to be mad at Harvey. He just wants him to understand. "I did," Mike tells him, voice even and sure. "I _did_ have the right. It's my right to protect someone I love. Harvey, I couldn't let you give up everything you've worked for your whole life just for me. I love you too much for that."

"Alright, you wanna use that logic, fine, let's have at it. I love _you_ too much to let you sacrifice yourself for me." 

"It's too late for that now, Harvey."

"I could still leave," Harvey says petulantly.

"And do what?" Mike challenges, incredulous.

"I don't know. I'll figure it out later."

Mike just looks at Harvey for a moment, and then he can't help it, letting out a light laugh. It breaks the escalating tension between them, with Harvey returning Mike's soft smile. Mike takes a deep breath, stepping forward. "I appreciate the gesture, Harvey. I really do. The fact that you were going to leave Pearson Specter just for me means more than I can ever say. But that's where you belong."

Harvey keeps Mike's gaze for a moment before nodding, and Mike's thinks that maybe Harvey's stopped fighting him on this.

"And where do you belong?" Harvey asks. 

And it's not even the question, the very leading question, that makes hope spring in Mike's chest. It's the fact that he takes a step forward after asking it. He's meeting Mike half way, and Mike is certain that he will never regret any of the actions he took this day because they led him to this.

Mike grins, taking one more step forward. The last step. He and Harvey are standing but a hairsbreadth apart but to Mike it still feels too far away. "I thought it would be obvious by now. I belong with you."

Harvey kisses him then. It's a slow thing, tentative, their mouths brushing together gently, as though Harvey was afraid Mike was going to pull away. But he doesn't. He never would. When Harvey tries to ease back Mike doesn't let him go, sliding a hand around the back of his neck and keeping him close, moving his lips against Harvey's. It's strange, that Harvey of all people – confident, suave Harvey – needs the reassurance. But once he gets it, once he realizes that Mike is in this with him, everything changes in an instant. He groans lightly, wrapping his arms around Mike and pressing their bodies together, deepening the kiss, all in the one magic moment. 

A thought comes to Mike, as Harvey guides him back towards the bed, and Mike can't help it, breaking the kiss with a light chuckle. "Are we seriously not going to talk about the fact that we just said I love you for the first time?"

Harvey hasn’t wasted any time, sliding his mouth down the pale column of Mike's throat, leaving a trail of sensual kisses behind. "We can talk about it later," Harvey says against his skin.

Mike kinda wants to protest. He wants the words, wants to talk about them, wants to hear Harvey tell him the truth, tell him everything. But then Harvey slips a hand under Mike's tee, his warm hand sliding across his stomach, and he can feel the touch down to his very core.

So Mike lets it go. They have plenty of time to talk. Their whole lives, in fact.


End file.
